Efio-Ita Nyok|12 October 2015|6:18am
London: Mr. President we want you to hand over the former governor of Bayelsa State, Diepreye Alamieyeseiga, to us for prosecution in view of money laundering
Buhari: You know I belong to nobody in the 'south' but to everyone in the 'north', so that is a done deal.
Buhari's October 1: For all of you that were dancing shoki with Nigeria's public money, 'Don't be afraid of me,…but be afraid of the consequences of your excesses'. God willing, I will hunt you all down!
Obasanjo: You know that former Bayelsa governor, Alamieyeseiga, is the first on the list that Obama gave you during your July 19-22, 2015 state visit to President Obama in the US.
Buhari: Yes! Yes! Yes! Should we take him down Baba? But, What will Nigerians say of others in the list like Amaechi, Rochas, Abusalami Abubarka, T Y Danjuma, these guys are my friends Baba!?
Obasanjo: Did you show Nigerians the list? Who else has seen it? Do what I tell you!
Alameyeseiga: Tamuno, I am dead; I am a gonna! This 'Baba go slow' will certainly be fast in handing me over to London's CIA. And I can't beat those guys this time around. How will I get dressed as a woman when Obasanjo sold me out initially. Hmmmmmmmm!
Jonathan: I granted my former boss, Alameyeseiga, a presidential pardon, and seeing that government is continuum, I want to believe Buhari will be careful not to revoke that pardon.
Tinubu, Lai, APC: Let's use this dude as the scape goat to launder our hypocritical fight against corruption(you know Mr. President we are not fighting any corruption).
Buhari: Ok. I consent. But let it be done after I swear in my yet-to-be ministers. He will be whisked to London. Besides, I am not the one pursuing him, it is the consequences of his excesses in the West that is pursuing him.
Lai Mohammed: During the campaign for 2019 general elections, I will list this as an achievement of the APC in the fight against corruption
Alamieyeseiga: It is better for me to die in Nigeria and be given a befitting burial. Than to die twice in London after serious torture and humiliation -I still die again. Hmmmmmm…
Breaking News: Diepreye Alamieyeseiga, Bayelsa former governor, is dead! He died of heart failure on Saturday 10 October 2015!
Buhari: Danburoba! So, this guy really took me serious when I said: he should not be afraid of me but of the consequences of his excesses! Haba! These European governments just gave me money for 'development', how do I compensate them now? Alamieyeseiga, you should have rather died immediately you reach London!! Danburoba!!
Obasanjo: Kiloshele! This guy is (still) smart. He has beaten me the second time.
Jonathan: Alamieeeeeeeeeeeeeee! You are my boss and will always do…I am dancing shoki for you!
Lai Mohammed, Tinubu, APC: London will be so disappointed. How do we manage this crisis? Mr. President, who should be the next scape goat?
Buhari: Diezani Alison-Madueke! Walai talai that breast cancer must not take her alive! Why must they die now!?