by Kaprea Greene
I entered foster care when I was 9, a scared little Black girl thrust into a system that wasn’t built to nurture but to manage. I could have gotten lost in the system, but I was fortunate to find mentors who looked like me and took me under their wings. They provided positive Black role models, and eventually, two of my mentors became my family. They showed me that safety, love and family could be consistent and dependable.
The key to finding this stability was the mentoring relationship. A recent study shows that adults who become mentors are seven times more likely to consider adoption. The need for mentoring is even greater for Black children in foster care, who make up 22% of the foster system despite being only 14% of the U.S. child population. We are less likely to find a permanent home through adoption.
A System Full of Challenges
By the time I was 18, I had lived in 11 different foster homes. Every new move meant packing up what little I had in trash bags and wondering what the next home would look like. I didn’t know what the rules or expectations would be. I felt lost every time I moved, having to make new friends, and felt like I had no support.
Children in foster care face a unique set of challenges. They are often shuffled between homes without any say, leaving them without stability or a sense of belonging. As a child navigating the foster care system, I needed guidance from an adult I could trust. Someone who could have told me that my dreams and I were worth fighting for.
Finding Mentors Who Cared
I was lucky enough to find a few people along the way who truly saw me and believed in me. One of those people was Ms. Hammond, a foster mother who took me in during one of the rockiest times of my life. Ms. Hammond wasn’t just a caretaker. She was a mentor in the truest sense of the word. She provided structure, discipline, and love in a world where those things were hard to find. She taught me how to cook the best enchiladas — that made me feel like I had a place in her home, and her heart.
Ms. Hammond was a Black woman who cared for all the children in her home, regardless of where they came from or what they had been through. She made me feel at home and showed me I could belong somewhere. That feeling was missing in all of the other homes I had lived in. She was the first person to teach me that love and structure could exist together, and that discipline was not the same as punishment. In her home, I learned that I mattered.
But as much as I gained from Ms. Hammond’s care, I still needed more. I needed someone to show up for me in times of struggle, someone who could have helped me avoid the hardships that come with growing up without family. At the age of 14, I entered Kidsave’s Weekend Miracles program, which connects older kids in foster care like me with adults who want to be a part of our lives, whether as mentors, hosts, or potential family. Weekend Miracles is active in Los Angeles, Houston, and Central and Northern Virginia.
I was unsure at first. The idea of putting myself out there again felt exhausting and unfair. Why should I have to search for what every child needs? But Weekend Miracles wasn’t like anything I had experienced before. The kids have a say in which adults they want to get to know. The mentors can make a difference for a child without the up-front commitment of fostering or adopting. In this program, culturally responsive mentoring offers all children a sense of stability and belonging that the foster care system struggles to provide.
Finding Family
When I met Marie and Rodney — two people who understood me in ways I hadn’t expected — I realized that family can come in many forms. They reflected my cultural and racial values and understood the guidance I needed as a Black girl. Marie and Rodney became my host family through Kidsave’s Weekend Miracles program. Through their actions, they showed care and understanding that resonated deeply with me. Over time, I let down my guard, and I chose them as my family. They eventually adopted me, and in doing so, they chose me too.
Mentoring is not a luxury — it’s a necessity.
Foster care is a system that too often fails the children it is meant to serve. Children need consistent love, mentorship, and to feel like they belong. They need families who see them as full human beings and can prepare them for what’s to come when they are adults. Kids also need families who can be culturally responsive by sharing and reflecting elements of their culture in their relationship.
For those of us who have lived in the system, we know that change is possible, but it requires a commitment from everyone to do better for all children, including Black, Brown, and LGBTQ+ youth. All families can provide culturally responsive care and identity-affirming relationships, with a little work.
I am a testament to the power of mentoring, family, and love. To everyone who has ever doubted their ability to make a difference in a child’s life, I urge you to step up. The time is now.
Mentoring is not a luxury — it’s a necessity. It can be the difference between a foster youth surviving or thriving. If you have the capacity to mentor or foster a child, don’t wait. Children in the system need someone to believe in them and see their worth. Every child deserves a family, and every family has the potential to change a life.
Kaprea Greene, 31, is a former youth in foster care, and is now working as a Printer Operator in Los Angeles, CA. She is a proud mother of two.
Source: Seattle Medium
