Active Aging Presented by Public Health Seattle-King County
Making friends may seem like a task for school children, but it is also vital to living a vibrant life post-retirement. Having strong relationships is critical for our mental and physical well-being. As we age, friendships have the potential to become even more important than some family relationships that may undergo changing dynamics. Friends can help us feel motivated, valued, and needed — all essential elements as we move away from the workforce into lives that could quickly become solitary.
The Importance of New (and Old!) Friends
While any meaningful connection is a powerful tool for thriving as you age, having both old and new friendships can provide well-rounded support. Your friends from previous life stages offer a chance to reminisce and connect with passions you may have forgotten. On the other hand, new friends can help you feel secure about your current pursuits and help introduce you to the next great adventures that life holds. So even if you think your cadre of old friends is sufficient, it can be worthwhile to seek new friendships post-retirement.
Where Should You Start?
Deciding to make new friends post-retirement is the first step, but once you’ve committed to the idea, where do you begin? Potential chances for connection might be more common than you think.
Volunteer Groups
If you have extra time now that you’re retired, consider channeling some of your expertise and energy into a volunteer organization. If you choose a group that fits your values and lifestyle, you will likely mesh well with the other volunteers you’ll meet. Forging friendships alongside other tasks, such as volunteering, can make organically getting to know someone and building a connection easier.
Community Events and Spaces
Special or ongoing events in your community can be the perfect place to meet new friends. You have a starting point for a common interest, and you don’t have to plan the meetup logistics. People tend to be more approachable when they’re having fun, so events that include food, music, or some laughs can be a good place to start.
In addition to special events, commit to visiting more of the public spaces in your area as you look for friends. Your local library, dog park, or downtown plaza may be natural gathering places for other adults with creative time on their hands.
Online Options
In this day and age, there really is an online community for everything. If you can’t find local events or groups that match your interests, try to find one online. Friendships don’t have to grow in person. You can also use the internet to host a group of your own, either locally or virtually. You may be surprised by how many people are thrilled that you started a new group!
Making Friends, Again
You may feel intimidated by the process of making friends. After all, once we leave school and enter adulthood, finding natural opportunities to connect with others can be difficult. Fortunately, your years post-retirement offer a great chance to seek out and invest in new adult friendships. As you think about venturing forth for friends, here are several key elements to keep in mind.
Friendship Requires Time
One of the most important things to remember on your friendship journey is that connections take time. Research shows that establishing a friendship takes about 50 hours of contact. Fortunately, that’s time you now have post-retirement that maybe wasn’t available in your younger adult years.
Vulnerability Can Build Trust
Trust is a crucial component of friendship, so chances are you’ll be assessing whether or not your new potential companions are trustworthy. However, don’t forget to reflect on your own contributions to these new relationships. Being vulnerable with new people can be difficult, but trust is much harder to build when everyone is closed off.
One Common Interest is Enough
Try to avoid the mindset that a new friend has to fill a prominent role in your life. Our relationships take all different forms, and some of the strongest bonds can center on just one shared interest. Don’t jettison a potential friend at the first sign of misalignment. One of the perks of making friends as an adult is that you can choose when and how you interact with your new companions.
Flexibility is Key
One of the biggest reasons it feels easier to make friends as a child is our flexibility. Adults are set in their ways and have a harder time adjusting to accommodate glaring differences. However, if you’re ready to make new friends, some flexibility can go a long way. You never know — they may open your eyes to activities, interests, or groups that you would never have considered in the past.
Active Aging is presented by Public Health- Seattle & King County. Public Health- Seattle & King County recognizes the important and untold stories of innovation, service, and sacrifice by the Black community and supports efforts to improve equity and achieve social justice. We want everyone to get health insurance and access health care. Visitwww.kingcounty.gov/health for health insurance, flu and COVID-19 testing locations.