Call this what you will, what I’ll call it is THE definitive guide to “restoring the glory” at Manchester United.
Manchester United find themselves trapped in a loop.
The matches are hardly well-received and are bereft of atmosphere at Old Trafford. The idea that United are capable of “restoring the glory” has almost disintegrated, since the club has promised to do this on many, many occasions since Fergie’s exit in 2013.
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2023, per Erik ten Hag, was meant to be the turning point – “Eras come to an end”.
Sure, he brought in some stars, Lisandro Martinez, Matthijs De Ligt, Noussair Mazraoui – quite exciting signings who haven’t (yet) imploded – but for every Butcher came along a dud… Anthony. Mason Mount. Wout Weghorst.
It’s both odd and extremely telling that Man United now historically – via the insane leaky journo system – announce their transfer plans ahead of time, farfetched targets are named, happily confirming that there’s rarely a budget, and “we’ll wait it out until deadline day”.
But what should be a source of embarrassment for most, is actually now a relief for United fans; the ill-fated “new signing buzz”, arrogant and deluded statements of intent by our announcements across our insanely saturated social media empire – at least by NOT getting the Mbappe’s, Bellingham’s or Haaland’s we can watch those players play their way and not be sucked into the United vortex.
Hopefully now, this move to a more intelligent, INEOS way of thinking through our football decisions will eventually summon the return of true buzz, not-so-arrogant statements of intent and less embarrassment as we nurture players into a new mold rather than chop them up into the old stencils that smell very “Glazery”.
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Old Trafford has been so dormant and lifeless so often these past few seasons, that the dream of a Super-Stadium is now more in favour than ever. You can hear the drips from the roof even if you can’t see an empty seat, you are aware of the cobwebs hidden behind the glorious flags, we feel the draft more than ever in a cold stadium that once burned Red Devil’s fire, and life, spirit of the lads on the pitch.
Manchester United knows its problems, INEOS are clear on that. Can they craft the solution though, in a time where no fans have much patience left.
Let’s restore the Glory, Glory of Man United. Here’s what needs to be done…
Manchester United Lack Identity
Problem: We’re unsure just how important we are anymore?
Are we sleeping giants, heart of Treble winners still beating strong within? Is there anything left from the Title winning squad of 2013, the passion, the confidence? Do we consider ourselves a top-4 side anymore? And if we do, why are we dancing around in possession without even a single stepover – Soccer AM’s “showboat” used to thrive on our cockiness – now we have a twizzling Anthony.
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Or, curveball, are we genuinely where we should be? Less entitled, humbled somewhat with now 10+ years of watching those below us leap up to unreachable height.
Solution: As will become clear in the coming months, INEOS and now Amorim have a clear vision. Derailed somewhat with a turbulent start to the season under Erik; but it’s there to see that we have “something”. The attacking mentality will be injected into this squad and we’ll be more risk-taking – the “we’ll just score more than you” mentality of old, reborn.
Are we sleeping giants? You god-damn right we are!
There’s Too Much Pressure
Problem: Mason Mount (currently) wearing the No.7 shirt is a cheap marketing pop lacking of credibility and effectiveness. With the No.7, Man United were trying to tell you he’s the “main man”, when really, he just isn’t. It’s an insult to the fans intelligence, if you want to be really harsh about it, and to Mason.
United thought by slapping the big one on his back, it would establish him. It hasn’t. It doesn’t work that way. Mason’s a decent player, but the weight of that shirt is heavy, and the pressure players get the moment they step out there is heavy enough without that added focus applied.
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Mega-money signings almost demand instant success – and we’re an impatient bunch, us lot.
Solution: Nurture talent without too much hype, quit playing piano’s and rapping with Stormzy. Stop quadrupling asking prices to land a player for shirt sales, or because of outside noise. Have a vision, to pay value, pay smart, bring in stars but keep them grounded, bring in future stars and keep them focussed. There’s an identity we have, and wear like a badge of honour that Academy players make our match teams – leverage that.
Hojlund is now the No.9. Good! He’s earned it, it suits him, and there might be a cracker of a striker there still. It’s a step in the right direction.
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If it means we don’t have a No.7 until a player has earnt the right, so be it. A shirt number, a starting position in the 11 should be a reward of excellence, not popularity. The shirts don’t make the player.
Looking at you, Manchester United social media team – calm down, a bit. Stop over-hyping. Stop the “winning team” training photos. Start being smart about posts – this IS happening already, Yoro is a prime example of that, in how we’ve dealt with his hype, and arrival.
The Competition Is Red Hot
Problem: Manchester City, Liverpool, Real Madrid, Bayern… They’re red-hot, and if anything, have been white-hot for way too long. Pep Guardiola has gone full Wolf of Wall Street (I’m not f’kin leaving!), and Slot is mistake-free. City have dominated the league for many years, and in turn Manchester United have suffered.
Solution: Manchester United must double down on reclaiming itself as one of the top 4, if not top 3. This is vastly more difficult now than it would’ve been in 2015-16. Teams above us are now 5+ years ahead into their rebuilds,
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But, we’ve a vision – a “Super Stadium” to look forward to, a clear recruitment plan, a manager that has been hand-picked by the footballing committee at United. We are laying the cement now to build something huge, foundations in place we could be competing up there within the next 2-3 seasons if we stay focussed and consistent with our statement of intent.
Our Social Media Is Lame
Problem: Manchester United too often feels like a meme for the online football community to ridicule. Our social media team does us no favours, regularly feeling out of touch – all the while bragging about how large a fanbase they have, or how creative they’re being over on “look-at-how-good-I-look-LinkedIn”.
The MUTV setup has grown so tired and dated, as much as they try to stay relevant. A 24-hour channel dedicated to a team who hasn’t even won the league in over a decade. What are we doing here?
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Who in their right mind really thinks we want to see how good we once was, over and over again, meanwhile the lads on the pitch are doing those legends a disservice.
A great amount of Man United fans despise the official channels. The player comms seem scripted and insincere. Something must change.
Solution:
Erect a whiteboard in the changing room, in the board rooms. Write on it a list of rules. This is best practice generally. Demand those rules are followed. An example, don’t let players go rogue when their feelings are hurt after a bad performance.
Really, a completely radical approach to players, staff, and official channel social media engagement. Needed to happen a long time ago.
United need to get on board with the fans, and the fans don’t want training team photos. We want players being real, accountability.
The United Legends Are Being Mean
Problem: Manchester United Legends are routinely being mean about Manchester United.
This sounds facetious and ridiculous, and the extent of the issue is impossible to resolve easily – the lack of Titles at United for such a long time, and the Glazer-led way of working has fundamentally upset most of our living legends. Sky Sports is crawling with anti-United rhetoric.
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To be absolutely clear, the majority of the Legends still want to see United succeed – but over time the cracks are showing and they’re growing impatient with the team, and importantly – the club.
Solution: Ignore them.
They’ll change their minds, if things change. But for now, ignore them.
The bad faith from Keane, Scholes, Neville (there are others) has almost fuelled a sense of paranoia in the team, it appears. At the least it’s caused waves online so much they’re being celebrated for their honesty more than attacked for it.
Manchester United HAS lost a fair bit of credibility over the past decade, but it’s not as if the noise is disingenuous or unfair. The negative mentality has infested the dressing room no doubt, but players and staff need to stop being so obsessed with outside noise and get on with themselves.
Ignore the Neville’s, listen to one-another, listen to Amorim, reorient the club to be self-confident and it’ll show on the pitch. And, over time, if that floods into the players, and results come – Neville will wet himself, say he’s always believed in us and never had a doubt. So be it.
Form Doesn’t Matter
Problem: Form out the window, we pick players time and time again regardless if they aren’t performing. This was also the case within the 90 minute period, far too long we watched the same team doing the same things, only to be having substitutes come onto the pitch at 80+ minutes. It was insane, infuriating and hurting us for far too long to not react to what was happening on the pitch.
Solution: Simples, if a player plays crap, regardless his price tag, or shirt number. Rotate.
Amorim has hinted as much, leveraging form over favouritism.
Within games, he’s been known at Sporting to make several half-time subs. Will he be that bold in the Premier League?
We’ve Tried Everything
Problem: We’ve tried to rebadge ourselves too many times.
Ian Beale in EastEnders “I’ve got nothing left”. Picture it, have a chuckle. Back with me? Well that’s pretty much Manchester United at this point.
United have normalised everything that we should be excited about. Statement signings, new managers and their CV’s, getting into Europe…
Unfortunately the one thing we’ve normalised which should never have happened, is losing.
There’s nothing we haven’t tried… Until this point.
Solution: OK bare with me on this… We do it all again.
Since Fergie, since 2013, we’ve gone round the houses with every attempt at success – the Glazers being the overarching shadow looming over us. Now, with INEOS in position, we have a shot at doing things the right way.
Going all-in on the vision of the group, we should follow them any which way. What’ve we to lose at this point?
We’re Always Trying To Sign Everyone
Problem: Fans are responsible for this somewhat too, with demand for key signings, too many, at every window opening. We tend to miss the biggest of targets, and go balls-out for the 2nd or 3rd choice on deadline day.
The transfer window ecosystem is broken, anyway. How can young stars actually ascend when they’re shoved atop the tallest pedestool on day one, only to inevitably nosedive as a result of fans impatience.
What’s the point of putting plasters on bullet holes, anyway?
Solution: For starters, stop signing loads of “star” players. Unless Kane, or Bellingham magically become available on a free, there’s no point. Our manager now needs to be methodical, patient, and sign just what is needed for the problems he has.
That’s all Amorim can do now, isn’t it? He’s not going to get the budget for superstar wingers, or even star strikers with INEOS having a tight grip of finances (finally, eh?).
The only workaround if Amorim does want to create an entirely new 11, is to build it around the current batch. Have more depth in our team than most – especially with our injury record! slowly model the team into something he wants, and only then start to introduce players to an already oiled machine.
The Fans Cannot Wait
Problem: The infuriating thing about being a Manchester United fan is that we know what good looks like. We’re capable of seeing what we had before, and seeing what’s wrong now. We were there in the 90’s-00’s man, we were there!
Still now, 2024 by the way, we brand ourselves the biggest team in the world. The same year we had arguably our worst League finish in memory, only that FA Cup saving ourselves from self-implosion.
What do we want, anyway? Why don’t we get what we want! We only want to win absolutely everything again, not asking much.
Solution: We need to grow some nads, accept where we are and let INEOS crack on. Manchester United were significantly better in all departments 10+ years ago, and before the Glazers ruined the place.
But is this asking too dramatic and unrealistic a shift in thinking for us, now?
We can’t change our WANT to win, but knowing we’ve done it before should give us hope that one day it’ll return.
The Glazers being (nearly) out the door is a fantastic start to a new era for United, hard to disagree with that right. So let’s let Sir Jim and his gang do what they do, and we’ll meet back here in a year for a good old rant about why it’s all got tits up yeah?
…Is Manchester United fated to be wildly underperforming forever? OR will we get to chant Glory Glory Man United, and mean it….
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