Paradise News

Author: Editor

  • INSPIRATIONAL: Excellent Tips For Business

    Simply because people may want you to succeed.. But they likely don't want you to do better than them. Get excited, inside you. Keep it mum, until you have signed that deal. The more you talk about your plans the higher you increase your chances of getting screwed. Surprise them with success… Not announcing how you are going to reach it!

  • VALENTINE SPECIAL: Akpos Jokes

    By Hitler


    Akpos was with his son , when he saw
    his son  girlfriend coming; the following conversation took place:
    Son: Have you come to collect your book titled;
    ”SPEAK ENGLISH MY DAD DOESN’T
    UNDERSTAND IT” by Ngozi Okafor
    Girl: No, I want that our hymns called
    ”WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU”
    Son: i don’t have that one maybe
    you should take the other one ”UNDER THE
    MANGO TREE” by Crooks
    Girl: Fine but don’t forget to bring
    ”I WILL CALL YOU IN 5MINS” while coming to
    School
    Son: I will also bring this one too
    ‘I WON’T LET YOU DOWN’ by Chinua Achebe
    Then;
    Akpos: These books are too many, will
    she
    read all
    of them?
    Son: Yes dad, she is very smart.
    Akpos: Okay, don’t forget to give her d one on d
    table titled
    ” AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD
    EVERYTHING” by Shakespeare!

    Lolzz one word for akpos?

  • VALENTINE SPECIAL: Stupid Questions People Ask:




    By Hitler

    1) NA YOUR FACE BE THIS?
    Answer: NO NA MY HIPS.

    2) Guy how far? NA YOU BE THIS?
    Answer: NO o! NA MY PAPA WHEN HIM YOUNG.

    3) On ur wedding, one idiot walked up to you as you are about to take ur wedding pix with ur wife…
    NA YOUR WIFE BE THIS?
    Answer: NO OH! NA MY MAMA CLASS MATE.

    4)Give me your phone number –
    0803476… ….THANKS.
    SO YOU DEY USE MTN?
    Answer: NO!!! NA NEPA I DEY USE.

    5)I listened to 9 o’clock news, it
    was announced that the election was postponed. WHO TOLD YOU?
    Answer: NA ONE NATIVE DOCTOR FOR MY VILLAGE.

    6)Take this mosquito coil; e dey
    kill insect fast…
    Thanks bros. E DEY KILL MOSQUITOS?
    Answer: NO,E DEY KILL ELEPHANT.

    7)Standing in front of a police station* SHEY NA POLICE STATION
    BE THIS?
    Answer: No! Na CHURCH….
    ADD UR OWN JOIN!

  • TECHNOLOGY: Medical Tricorder Now a Reality


    ​
    In the year 2013, an Illinois man convinced several investors to fund a revolutionary medical device, to the tune of over $25 million.

    He called it the “McCoy Home Health Tablet”, and promised it would instantly deliver patient data to doctors.

    In other words, he was mimicking the legendary Tricorder from Star Trek, even naming it after Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, the blue-clad, very irritable medical officer from the 1960s show.

    His results came out unfruitful, and infact he was apprehended for his crimes. But as a testimony of how time flies, and the inter-play between science fictions or ilusions with regards to the movie and the real world. Less than two years later the Tricoder does exist and is adobted as a working tool in the medical world.

  • NEWS: Jonathan's Promise To Boko Haram

    By Dickson Blessing
       President Goodluck Jonathan has promised that Nigeria security forces would totally wipe out the Boko Haram sect in the north eastern part of the country before the general election on 28th March and 11th April.
       The president said this on Friday during a cocktail with the members of diplomatic corps at the presidential villa Abuja.
       He assured that the security forces would carry out operations to make sure that election is carried out successfully in the three affected states of Borno, Adamawa and  Yobe.
        He said, “This period will give them (security forces) the opportunity to ‎clean up the three states. If at all they cannot clean up the three states, at least two states will be recovered completely and more local governments even from the remaining state so that elections could be conducted even in Borno State.
    “Even if we don’t take over all the territories in Borno State, definitely in Adamawa and Yobe states we will take over completely and even Borno State, the headquarters of Boko Haram, even if we don’t take over completely at least 70 per cent of that state will be free for elections to be conducted.
    “This is because democracy can only be meaningful if people are allowed to select who rules them.”
       Jonathan cheered his administration as capable to defeat the sect just as Ebola was fought in his adminstration successfully. He noted that no single country could fight terrorism alone and that was why the country has collaborated with the neighbouring countries, sub-regional allies and other partners beyond the region to tackle the security challenge in the country.
      
       “We are already beginning to turn the trend. Let me reassure you very clearly that we will surely win the war against Boko Haram. We are moving faster now, ‎in the next few weeks, the whole world will know that we are totally committed and that we are in a position to save our people,” he added.
       The president also insisted that the rescheduled dates for the elections was taken in the best interest of the country.

  • VALENTINE SPECIAL: Special Outfits For Valentine.

    Its the season of love and romance, the opportunity to renew relationships and give out gifts. In this kind of season the right wears will put you on a high.

  • VALENTINE : Check Out The Latest Bags For Valentine.

    By Lizzy Adie. Place order by calling 07069627274 ‘ 09051172989 or contact us via www.Negroidhaven.com. 

     

  • NEWS : America Based Nigeria Doctor Accused Of Sexual Assault.

    By Lizzy Adie.
        Fourteen new patients have come forward accusing a Charlotte doctor. Dr Fidelis Edosomwan last month for Sexual assault. Dr Fidelis who has been arrested by the American police has voluntarily   agreed to suspend his license pending an investigation into the first two women claims.
        Detectives are reviewing these new cases at this point, Dr Edosomwan does not face additional charges. He has practiced medicine in Charlotte for almost 20 years.

  • FUNNY PICTURE: Naija Parents Advising Their Daughters

    From —www.naijabiggists.com

  • RELATIONSHIP: I Rather Die Single Than Get Married —- My Opinion

    FROM– www.naijabiggists.com

    Going by the trend of cheating mostly found among the female folks especially Nigerian girls, one begins to wonder if there is still hope for we the unmarried men. Where are the women of virtue and dignity?

    Why has promiscuity become a norm and way of life among our ladies? Are there still good women out there? Are there still ladies who stick to just one guy irrespective of your financial situation?

    I have been scammed and taken for granted by ladies who took advantage of the love and care I had for them. It saddens me to know that most Nigerian men have the same story to tell about our females. How and where can one really find the love of one’s life in this our immorality filled society?

    Your opinions are needed.